Clarity.

High dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life
Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it every time
Hold still right before we crash 'cause we both know how this ends
A clock ticks 'til it breaks your glass and I drown in you again

'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

Walk on through a red parade and refuse to make amends
It cuts deep through our ground and makes us forget all common sense
Don't speak as I try to leave 'cause we both know what we'll choose
If you pull then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you

Why are you my clarity?
Why are you my remedy?
Why are you my clarity?
Why are you my remedy? 

❤

cemburu.

Aku tak faham ada orang cemburu tak tentu pasal. Tak payah nak cakap orang. Aku pun sama jugak.

Tapi, kena hold jugak rasa tu. Sakit oo.. Bila datang rasa tu, mula naik menyampah. Haishh.

Tapi la kan. Ade satu kes member aku ni, dia jadi mangsa cemburu perempuan lain. Means, kawan aku ni perempuan la. Dia tak pepasal kena serang dengan awex member dia, let say Mr. X  jelah.

Memang cakap macam nak cari gaduh. Stalk kemain pulak tuh. Then, tuduh orang ni bukan. Kau dah kenapa? *Eh, aku pulak yg emo.

Haa.. ni nak citer kalau kau jeles dengan pakwe kau tuh, gi settle senyap-senyap dengan dia sudah. 

Tak payah nak serang orang bagai kalau tak tau ape-ape. Behave yourself. Kami tahu awak tu lebih berusia dari kami, jadi fikiran harus lebih matang la patutnya.

Aku faham, kekadang perasaan tu memang tak boleh nak tahan. Hasutan syaitooonn semua tu.

Keep calm. InsyaAllah, everything will be okay. :)

Syi

hipokrit..

Tahu apa maksud hipokrit? Berlakon lebih.
Well, bagi aku, aku benci nak tipu diri sendiri. Kau tak payah nak bajet baik depan semua orang.
Aku belajar dari kesilapan. Sebahagian dari pengalaman. Pengalaman banyak mengajar.

Aku ada betting. Dan aku bet pasal benda yang paling berharga, tak ternilai bagi aku. Aku sayang teramat sangat benda tu. Bukan boleh beli dekat kedai. Memang takkan dapat kat mana-mana.
Aku tahu aku boleh menang. Why not? nothing is impossible. Aku pernah gagal sebelum ni. But now, aku nak tunjukkan tak selalu kau boleh menang.
Hadiahnya? Ouh! The most i need, Aku taknak kalah! Fight for yourself husna! U can do it.
The challenge is not hard for you. Always think for what u need, u want. Its for urself.

ketegaq!

Hari ni aku kena bahan tak pepasal dengan mak. Dah tu sapa suruh ayah taknak dengar cakap aku.
Kisahnya tengah hari tadi ayah aku dok buat air bandung+ais garut.
Then, aku pun nak jugak la. Bukak fridge tengok ada tak susu cair. Aku bagitau la ada.
Tapi macam dah tak elok. Mak aku pun suruh la tengok dulu. Bau, rasa. Ayah aku dakkk. Dia bubuh terus campur dalam air bandung dia tadi. Aku pulak amek la sikit susu tu letak dalam cawan nak rasa. Memang rasa dia dah basi la susu tu even letak dalam fridge, tin dia dah tebuk. Pahit tak tau nak habaq! Lepas tu ayah aku kata susu tu elok jugak. Nak jugak dia menang. Dah lepas tu dia bau baru nak kata "eh! dah tak elok laa.." Aku pun terlepas le, "haaa tu laa ayah. Ketegaq!"
Mak aku pun dok ulang la. Aish. boleh pulak telepas cakap utara.
Lain kali jangan dok ketegaq nohh!!

hurt tho.

Ayat ni pedih. Menusuk kalbu. ;'(

..

Always be my favorite. :)

Janganlah hanya mengukir janji
Sedangkan dikau masih mencari
Adakah benar kata kata
Bukan ungkapan sementara

Kaulah pancaran yang daku rasa
Bagaikan obor yang menyinar
Jika terpadam tiba tiba
Sunyilah insan alam gelita

Jika kau selam hati ini
Pastinya engkau kan mengerti
Betapa sucinya cintaku
Jangan diragu

Jika kau rasa getarnya
Debaran kasih cinta yang meronta
Nilai kasihku padamu cukup berharga
Bukan simpati yang aku pinta
Kebenaranmu memutus kata
Agar dapatku abadikan
Untuk pedoman peniti cinta

Jika kau selam hati ini
Pastinya engkau kan mengerti
Betapa sucinya cintaku
Jangan diragu
Jika kau rasa getarnya
Debaran kasih cinta yang meronta
Nilai kasihku padamu
Cukup berharga

advice for the girls. beware!

assalamualaikum and goodevening uolls.
eh,aku rasa bukan ada readers pon. -.-''

Aku ni bukan la reti sangat nak bab bagi nasihat ni. Tapi, rimas, geram tengok ramai pompuan dok tergedik-gedik dengan laki. Orang kata, bukan perempuan la kalau tak gedik.
Weh! Ko nak gedik suka hati kau, tapi tak payah nak over bagai. Menyampah orang lain tengok.
Gedik yang macam mana? Dok renyih nak laki, dok sembang ala manje la konon dengan lelaki.
Lelaki ni bahaya! Kau baru kenal dia seminggu dua, kau kata baik. Kau bukan kenal dia pon sebenarnya.

1. Jangan melayan.
 Tahu apa tu melayan. Maksud aku, kau mesej dengan orang tu, mesej dengan orang ni. Dan carakau mesej tu bukan macam kawan. Memang bukan kawan la kalau kau dah selalu sangat contact. Lepas tu rapat, kau couple dengan dia. Aku tak suka istilah couple tu sebenarnya. Tapi ramai orang faham pebenda kan. Jeezz. Kau cuma menambah masalah kau. Kawan aku pernah buat eksperimen la kononnya. Lelaki dan perempuan, boleh jadi kawan je? Jawapan, tidak. One of them must have some feeling like care or something. Either the boy or the girl. Serius wa cakap lu! Jangan nampakkan yg kau tu murah melayan ramai lelaki.

2. Harapan palsu
Kau tahu apa itu harapan palsu? Kau layan dia bebaik, dia bukan main syiok dengan kau, tuptup, dia heartbroken pasai kau dah ada orang lain. Then, kau pulak rasa bersalah, kau pi bebaik dengan dia pulak. Tak guna la.

3. boyfriend orang.
Hah! Tolonglah, jangan kacau boyfriend orang. Tak fikir ke nanti girlfriend dia tak suka.
Jangan runtuhkan rumah tangga orang. LOL. Ayat akuuu~~
Aku ada kawan yang clash disebabkan twitter. Know what? That jealous feeling. grr..

4. be honest.
Tolong jadi seorang yg jujur. Kau kau tipu, makna kau tipu diri kau jugak. So, its useless.
Be yourself/

Jadi seorang perempuan, banyak kot pantang larang.Itu jangan buat, ini janan buat. But, that all is for your own good. It's up to you to do it or not. Kalau nak yang terbaik. Fikir-fikirlahh.

Adios!
Syi.

how to be 'tabah'?

u know what bloggie? its hurt to be the one that been left by her lover? hurt too much.
dont have anybody to respond to yr story, to wake u up every morning, to talk before u sleep. to say i love u i miss u when u're really in love. lol. apesal jiwang bhaii..
do u have anybody that u know and doing many things, having many plans to future or something, then, they go.

Aku ada sorang kawan la dekat kolej dulu, Wani. Jemaah 2055.
Dia ade cerita, dulu dia ada boyfriend. Kalau lah ade lagi mamat tu, rase tak masuk uitm dah, Mungkin dah kawin. But, malang tak berbau, boyfriend dia meniggal, accident waktu nak pergi kerja.
Dan just a week before UPU result keluar. I don't know how hurt that feeling. Like suddenly just happened in a second. And she told me, If she had a chance to have some times with him, she really want to solat jemaah that he will be the imam.
Dia sangat tabah. U're a strong girl babe!

But me, i cant. I just cant.
But who cares?

...

walaooo! what a really boring sunday.

so, aku buat benda ni.

Haritu, aku beli la kat popular star paper tu. Dah takda kerja.

So aku pon buat la. Banyak jugak. Dan aku buat laa. Buat sambil mengenang cerita lama.

Sob..sob..

Dan sampai jari aku mengelupas. Okeh. aku pon tak tau awat jadi macam ni, Memang time nak kembungkan benda ni kena tekan. The papers eat my skin!!

Brrr. Dah. layan movie ke movie, Tengok tonton, makan, and.... go die! eh tidur..

guys.

hye hallu. assalamualaikum.

Mood blogging aku tah tetibe rajin nak update 2 3 hari ni.
Aku ada terbaca satu blog ni tadi. Well, its a story bout her life. I dont even care bout it.
Tapi, tu bagi aku idea nak type apa. Guys. Lelaki. Man. Boys. Siapa tak faham apa maksud semua tu?
Of course la semua orang tau kan.

Aku ada ramai kawan lelaki. Dari tadika lagi aku tak pernah masuk sekolah yang sejenis je.
Nak kata ada kawan lelaki yang rapat? Ada memang ada. Tapi tak ramai. Now, aku tak minat ada kawan lelaki rapat dengan aku. Sebab it will be different things after that. I hate heart feeling.
Nak kata aku nak melayan kengkawan aku yang lain, semua sama ja. Takde nak lebih-lebih.
Dan aku tak faham mostly before ada yang bagi present kat aku, nak kata minat la kot. But, aku tak berminat mana. Mungkin respond aku kot yang salah. Haish. Masa bebudak sulu, kau terima je. Main belasah je. Dah orang bagi -_-..Its wrong ok. Do not do it anymore!
Hurmm.. Ada certain orang ada gang diorang. Yes, aku pun ada. But never had a boy lah. Macam semak je. Tambah kalau baru kenal. errrr
Since skolah rendah until now, aku mesti bertiga. Tah kenapa aku pun tak tau.
So now, just chill with your girlfriends. And the 'boyfriend', u'll have it.
One fine day.. Hoping u'll be mine. oopps!

syi.

mati.

ok.aku bosan. tak boleh nak tido. erm. erm. ape nak buat..
not in mood to do anything. malas aku tahap tak boleh kawal. bilik aku dah jadi macam kedai bundle pon ade. banyak belonggok baju. super duper hebat semak nye. aku belum start jogin lagii. ohmaii.
since blablabla thing happen, everythings ruined. ohyeah!
so now, hidup dengan penuh berselerakan. phewphew~!
so lifeless doh.

polaris.

“I think that we are like stars. Something happens to burst us open; but when we burst open and think we are dying; we’re actually turning into a supernova. And then when we look at ourselves again, we see that we’re suddenly more beautiful than we ever were before!” 

― C. JoyBell C.

I miss my polaris.
syi.

diary.

assalamualaikum. Salam maal hijrah. :)

today i wanna tlak about a diary. almost every ppl have their own diary. At least in the primary school. Just for fun? or for reminding something awesome happened in that day?

I've got some some before. For my own, I haven't finish even a small book. But, I have one that I finished a book with someone. Lie share this diary. To know more each other. sumthin like dat.

But it takes a long time to finished it. 

Its my first time make a share diary. And now, I can re-read all the things that happened before. 

The bad day, a great day. Everything!! I miss the moment when we need to exchange this diary. 

How time flies.. Sometime, it makes me cry. The old things never the same like what happened today. Appreciate what u have, don't until u regret it in the future. That heart feeling on u never change.

"If there's no respond in two or three days, u need to worry. It must be sumthing." :'(

Syi.

its all about feelin

assalamualaikum.

Well, these days, ppl doesn't want to know what other ppl says, think about them. Just go on with their own life. I do hate to hear other ppl's perception on us, but you can take it as a positive other than the negative side.

Broken heart. I do hate much this feeling. Make me stress! Think too much. I can handle it.
Now, I'm in this mood. I just want him to be with me. I know its only fate will point it out for after 10++ years after this. I always pray for the best for us.
I put out all my ego but then, -ve respond I get is "u always lie to me".
When I'm in ego, "u never change" I don't know what's going on inside his head. Everything is -ve bout me?! So what about that other ''person'' ? Everything she said always the truth? Perfect?
Sometimes, yeah, I do jealous. Jealous too much until I hate her. Even u say u doesn't like her.
But, 'u layankan aje'. Argh!! Whats going on with u?! I need u..
Do u need to help the person unrelated to u and didn't ask u for yr help? 'Nak jadi baik tak bertempat?' T__T

I've broke yr heart before, I want to heal it. I want to put out all the pain. But u refused. All the -ve thinking inside yr head says shes not good. She bad, she terrible. Is't only me over feeling on u? Gosh! I'm in pain.

Jemaah 2055

hai! assalamualaikum.

Today i wanna talk about Jemaah 2055. Where the name comes from? Aku pun tak tau.
Its just happened bila Wani buat group wasep named Jemaah 2055. haha! Mungkin sebab ramai suka lepak kat bilik tu kot. Memang meriah!!! Pantang biarkan pintu bilik terbukak, ade je yang menyinggah. Nak bandingkan dengan bilik aku, memang selesa lagi bilik sendiri kan. But, disebabkan roomate aku yang asek menyepi dgn handphone dia, aku pun merantau ke bilik 2055.
Tu sebanarnya bilik cik mira alias. Well, dia untung sebab ada rumet yg hapening gila mcam Wani tuh. Oke, nak cerita siket pasal ahli-ahli jemaah ni...

Ketua jemaah. Syazwani Safiee.

This girl, mulut dia tak reti diam. Kalau diam there must be sumthing wrong with her. Nak kata even tidoq pon bercakap punya hebat tak hebat! Dia budak Penang. Donchu eva kutuk penang, dia akan bash budak tu. hehee~ Dia amek kos sains komputer, paling benci akaun dan paling hebat dalam Precal. Obviously! Budak Maktab la katekan dulu. She is a reeaaalllyyy nice! Itu je yang boleh aku describekan. Kalau bolehsemua barang di nak bagi pinjam. Dan tak lupa, always with her RED lipstick!  Ai Lob U wani!!

Pen. Ketua Jemaah? Amirah Alias

Must be her lah. heheee. What to describe? Malas nak cite pasal dia. hahaha

Ahli-ahli kongres:

Ecah!!!

Dia seorang yang obses dengan ladang. ihiks! 

Budak kuale kangsor. Really love malay dramas. Sometimes cepat lupa sesuatu. And a cat lover!!

Mijah!!

Okay. First time I saw her, i'm kinda interested to know her. She's mixed blood. She's my classmate. 

Pernah sekali tu, kitorang lepak kat lobi kolej, sembang punya sembang, mak dia kenal mak sedaraku. What a small world! 

Tasha!!!

Aku takdak gambaq hang. sory tasha a.k.a diana gediks! Kengkadang minah ni blurrrr..

dan tasha! jangan lupe eh. Ko tak suke gelak. so donchu ever gelak!

Azilah!!

Budak ni aku tak tau pasaipa aku geram sangat dengan dia. Rase nak gigit-gigit. Dia comel.

Tapi, kalau tau perangai dia. laallala~ Tau tau nak habaq.

Aku tak puas hati apasal balik awal sangat lepas exam hati tu!! 

Ok. this is the story of jemaah 2055. They are good mate. Teman gaduh, teman sembang, teman makan, everything! hope will stay with uolls till the end of our studies in UiTM Arau!

Love u mucho!
xoxo, Syi.

kawan. ok ke tak?

assalamualaikum. :)
hai.

Korang pernah ada kawan? kawan baik, kawan tak berapa baik? ada kawan yg betray? huh!
Aku rasa semua orang pernah mengalami semua benda ni. Ada kawan yg bermacam-macam rupa.

Pengalaman aku. Waktu sekolah rendah dulu, never know what true friends are mean. Rasa semuanya baik-baik belaka. Tapi, aku pernah la, ada kawan duduk sebelah aku, suka sangat curi barang-barang aku. Ape masalah dia ntah. Aku tau mak bapak dia mampu beli barang-utuk dia. mak bapak dia cikgu kot! Nantaklah.

Menginjak dewasa, sekolah menengah, then u know how to know your friends. Ada yg boleh pakai, tolong kita waktu susah senang. Aku ada. Dia banyak tolong aku tambah dalam pelajaran masa nak PMR dulu. Aku kenal dia waktu form 1 dekat asrama. 1 dorm, sebelah katil aku. But, then masuk form 4, dia pindah masuk MRSM. Dia, Fazatul Hazirah. Memang terror maths. Sedih sangat dia takda lepas tu. Susah nak tanya kat budak lain, aku paham kalau dia ajar. Missing u Atul.
Lepas tu, biasa la, ade private problem bagai, aku cerita dengan kawan-kawan rapat aku. I don;t know why aku selalu bertiga dengan kawan-kawan. Dengan Niazara, Dania Zati Syira. The S, Syakirah Safra Syahirah.  Aku sayang diorang sangat. The most to the S!

Dan sekarang, kami berpisah. Masing-masing belajar di berlainan tempat. But, we still keep in touch each other. In university, ada sorang kawan sekolah aku, dulu tak rapat mana, sama tempat belajar dengan aku, satu kos. Best friend to my best friend. Amirah Alias. Now, everywhere I go, must be her. Aku tahu, dia ni ramah, memana aku pergi dengan dia, orang mesti kenal dia dulu. Dia memang menonjol. Dia ramah, mesra dgn semua orang. Tak macam aku. Well, let her be herself, and me, always be me.

Tak semua akan ada waktu kita sedih, feeling down, depress etc. Susah nak cari kawan yang sentiasa ada dalam keadaan kita macam tu. Kengkadang, aku rasa Am I just visible when u need me? Ada masalah kau cari aku. Kecewa. Sedih.Well, Its okay. Allah is always be there for u. Bersabarlah.

I think I have someone I can share all my story. But sometime, he don't wanna hear it. Its okay dari tak dengar langsung. Ammar Danial. Kengkadang, dia bagi kata-kata semangat dekat aku. Tapi ada jugak yg langsung tak membantu. Ape pun, dia banyak membantu. Thankyou me dear.
He has a wide thinking, quite matured enough. hehehh
He's my very very good friend, as what he said to me lately. But, I wanna say, Iloveu. oopps! :P
I hope we'll be together. InshaAllah. Aaminn.. :)

Yeah. this is my story abaout friends. Hope our friendship never ends!
These are some pictures of my buddies!!

my Niazara 

The S!!

Our last nite together. Playing with the shadows.

my dd. 

last patper for SPM!

date? :P

planning.

hai.

ada manusia suruh aku update blog. suka sangat nak baca. haha!

so, nak bagitau. cuti ni, aku ada plan dan mission!

mission aku ada lah nak turunkan berat badan. know what?! baru ni aku beridiri atas penimbang tu and the arrow point to 55kg!! OMG!

plan.

1. jogging every evening.

2. eat everything i want but in small quantity. hope so.

3. pangkor island!!!!!

4. only this what i think for tonite. lol

Dan aku mengharap plan aku akan berjalan dengan baik sekali!! hahahahahha

Aku rindu lepak hari-2 dgn miera kat kolej. haha!

thats all. xoxo.syi.

nightmare!

ahaoi!! assalamualaikum.

Ni nak cerita. First night aku kat rumah balik untuk cuti sem ni nightmare. Adik aku, dia boleh hilangkan barang kesayangan aku sesuka hati dia je. WTF!! Aku sayang gila kot benda tu. Memory. The most valuable memory to me. Its an iPod. Gift by Ammar Danial. Precious birthday gift. I know its not easy to buy something using our own money in a school life.

Pleasee. Adikku. Kau tolong lah jangan ambik barang orang tanpa mintak izin. Aku benci orang main redah ganggu privacy aku. Nak pinjam, tolong bagitau. Dah hilang apah tak boleh dah.
Mungkin ada hikmah. Suruh aku jaga barang dgn lebih cermat.
Argh! Benci!!! *inhale-exhale~ T____T

ok. Muka bersabar.

Dan aku, nak sabar.. fuhh. payah. haha!

aku harap lepas ni takde benda buruk will never happen again!

xx. syi.

one thing.

assalamualaikum! :)

hmm. i've been thinking bout these things lately. What do i wanna do in this whole year. that reaaaalllyy wanna do. So, i just want to list them out.

1. backpacking! wherever that i haven't been yet.
2. masuk 'U' (done!)
3. Pass all the exams
4. make my parents proud of me.
5. be happy with ADMS <3 p="">6. have a delightful life :D

haha! ini jeerrpp. oke lah. tu je nak tulis. dedaa. selamat malam dunia~!

xoxo

Budak Ladang

Assalamualaikum :)

Ada orang rindu post aku kat blog? hehe. Lama tak update.
So, latest story? Macam biasa. Aku kini bergelar pelajar di UiTM Perlis. Budak Ladang!
Doakan aku kekal hingga ke sem 6 dan menggenggam skrol Diploma! InsyaAllah

Aku sampai rumah baru dapat tulis blog ni. Kalau kat sana, jangan harap lah. nak dapat wifi, payah. Takat aku online selalu pakai fon on data jer lah. Kredit fon pon banyak beli data + calling2 with him. heheee

Nak story sikit pasal experience part 1 aku kat UiTM. Kos ladang ni tough jugak la. Dari list subject yg akan kami study sampai part 5 nanti, banyakkkkk!! We'll study all the course that is in the UiTM. Benda yg ada dalam kos geomatik, akaun blablabla.

huh! Susah. But, nothing is impossible. :)

Thats it! Have a nice raya korban everyone.

xoxo. nite.